wow what a time to be alive

well hey there, how have y'all been? i've been busy and making scary new life decisions. a friend of mine told me i should write a blog of all my adventures over the past few months so here goes. there have been some good times, some bad times, and some pretty average times.

i moved across the other side of australia. on a whim. i felt a call to be in a city that i used to hate and now i'm here and so far everything has been great. maybe i'll start off with telling you how i came to this decision. i don't know why i'm here yet but everything is slotting into place. hallelujah, He is good.

at the start of august i decided that i needed to leave mandurah. don't get me wrong, i loved the people and community i was apart of, but i needed to grow and i couldn't do that while still living there. (some other pretty crappy stuff happened which i may tell you about another day) so i started packing and sorting out my stuff. the original plan was that i would leave late december/early january but my dad had to be in melbourne early october so we decided the best plan was for me to drive over with him as co-pilot. saved them (and me) a plane ticket and a lot of money. by the time i had officially picked a departure date i had 6 weeks to organise my life and make sure that my car could get across the country.

i start by writing a list of things to do and then i write a list of people to see/tell. i think at this point, other than immediate family, maybe 3 people know the basics of my plan. i then start seeing people and telling them i'm leaving. it was a very emotional time but all my people were so supportive of my decision which i was very thankful for. 

at that point, i still hadn't decided where i was going to move to. i was going to move to either sydney or brisbane. neither of which made any sense as i knew 2 people in each city but that was it. for quite awhile i deliberated between the two and only really decided just before i left that i was going to move to brisbane. which was slightly ironic cause when i was much younger we visited brisbane and i vehemently declared that i "hate this city and i will never live here." welp, i've been here for a week now and it's been rather grand so far.  

i then quit my job, and left at the end of september with the intention of travelling for a month or so and then arriving in brisbane with the prospects of a new job. i vaguely knew where i wanted to live but that was about it. so i packed (majority) of my earthly belongings into my car and started across on this crazy adventure.

so that's it. my thought process and some of the reasons that i moved. i shall endeavour to slowly tell more of my month on the road and show you photos. and maybe explain a bit more on the why i moved so far away from my family.

pack a bag and go on an adventure

listening to this and this xx

year of the ultraviolet

hey hey hello, it's 2018. i started this here blog just over six years ago. yikes.

red bluff, kalbarri

time flies when you're living. (cause having fun hasn't been the constant over those six years)

i've definitely changed. matured and become a very different, and yet remarkably the same, person than i was when i was fourteen. not as angsty and not struggling to fit in with the world.

this isn't going to be one of those posts where i start telling you about all these issues i've been having. cause i can tell you at this very moment, these issues are keeping me up at night. but on to happier, healthier things!

five fingers reef, coral bay

recently, i went up as far north as coral bay. we had five days and to make the most of it we drove in the early morning and spent the afternoon relaxing (mostly...) 

we snorkelled in bill's bay, and five fingers reef in coral bay. the sea life there was magical (made me wish i had a go-pro so that i could've actually shot some footage), and we saw a real live turtle in the wild, which was possibly the highlight of the trip!

cliff head north

and in other, more, exciting news, i'm vegan! i've been vegan since the second week of november and have committed to being a vegan this entire year with a dear friend of mine. and here we are twenty-two days into the new year and it's going great. (and i've lost weight as well. nice bonus!)

i'll try and write a more detailed post on why i went vegan soon.

kiss kiss hug a dog

listening to this and this

a culmination of events

first fire pit of the summer

well hello. i've been thinking and contemplating life lately. it's a very interesting conundrum indeed.

two of my friends got married last weekend. i watched them go from just friends all the way through to the final culmination of marriage. i was the listening ear when she complained about how much she liked him and that she didn't know if he liked her back. and i watched from a distance as they finally (!!) got together. it's been an interesting experience. the wedding was beautiful and emulated who they are as a couple.

sandy cape, jurien bay

it's been refreshing to come to a deeper realisation that life just keeps progressing no matter what you do or how you feel. 

i've been living in the same town for nearly four years and if you asked me three months ago what my plans for next year i would've said that i was moving back to victoria/moving away for good. and considering the events that have transpired in the past few months you would think that my answer would be a definite "i'm leaving" but due to circumstances i have decided to stay put in this little old coastal town for another year at the very least.
and in the past month i've realised that staying here doesn't mean that i'm stagnant or stuck in any way. i've been prayerfully considering all my current options and i feel that God is calling me here for another season. 

in other news, in the past two months i've been taking a rest from church, visiting other churches, and taking a break altogether. i went to my home church today and i'm also considering my options in that regard.

the pinnacles, cervantes

hello, goodbye, this post is a bit of a ramble. love me xx

listening to all this music

victoria

i'm almost crying as i write this. i recently had friends from victoria visit me, and it made me so homesick. i had forgotten how much i miss that little state, and the people there. hearing that accent again was like being back on the farm surrounded by people who i love, and who i know love me. and just spending those few days with the boyz cemented that. i miss it so much at this very moment. but i'm sure this moment will pass and i'll be fine in a few days.

living in victoria wasn't the easiest thing to do. i struggled with being away from home (i was 16 when i moved out there), mental health issues, (see this post for examples) and just general teenage angst stuff.
but ever since moving back to WA, it's been a dream of mine to move back there. it's been three long years here, and i feel that i've come to the end of my tether. the only things keeping me here are the fact i don't have a job over there and i have a pretty decent church community here. (though, i have been telling people at church that i'm planning to move back east sooner rather than later.)

i've also been looking through all my old vic pics and seeing how little the children were, and just reminiscing about that year and how it was. it's a very dangerous thing to do...

(this post wasn't even supposed to be all about victoria and my feelings toward the subject, haha. it was supposed to be about what i've been up to lately, specifically when the boyz were visiting.)

listening to this and this (skip to 3:10) xx

life is a trainwreck, but i'm still puffing

why hello there

i don't write here a lot anymore. i've been busy. adult life is busy, and even when i have a spare moment, i still have stuff to do. 

one of my close friend's is getting married in just less than a month and i haven't started on the wedding present. so at the moment, i'm a bit um, stressed.

at this very moment, i'm thinking about how to construct my arguement that christians should celebrate Passover. and not easter, never easter, or christmas. i wouldn't mind if it was always winter and never christmas,

my anxiety has been eating away at the edges of my sanity recently. take the tuesday night for example, i'm sitting there with my friends, drinking a chai latte from maccas. but in my head, i'm really yelling, screaming,"why are you sitting here, sarah? you have crap to do at home? your career to keep working on, all your projects, etc. do something with your life."

dear love, don't forget to breathe.

listening to xx

a few thoughts about nothing || hello 2017

my name is sarah. i will be 21 in approx 3 months. i like roadtrips.

welcome.

welcome to 2017.

to a new year.

new me.

i guess.

i can't tell yet.

 i don't think anything will change.

 but who knows.

point king lighthouse

i recently got back from the first roadtrip of the year. a group of us went down to albany for the week. lots of swimming, walking, and burning were involved. on the first night we were there, i managed to slice a chunk off of my thumb using a pocket knife to cut up chicken in a park. (yes, that whole story makes it sound like we were destined to fail.) my thumb bled profusely and aggressively. and there is now a picture of me on the grass in shock and stating very matter-of-factly that i just want a bandaid and i couldn't care less about disinfecting the wound. i'm glad that they did end up not listening to me and actually disinfecting it. i'm fairly sure that uncooked chicken is not good for an open wound.

gull rock beach

and as for 2017, i don't have a word yet. but if i think about it, i think it would be spontaneity (or alternatively, the act of being spontaneous.) for most of my life, i have made plans and rules, but i think i'll make this the year of breaking rules (within reason, obvs... i'm not a criminal) and doing things for myself. getting a better job, and just treating myself the way i deserve to be treated.

xx

don't forget to care for yourself, lovely

quiet and not sad aka lately

i had two posts in my queue that i had almost finished but after re-reading them i deleted both. they were sad and tmi. and i don't want to say too much, and i don't want to be sad. so yes hello. i am quiet and not sad.

i did one of these quite a while ago, and today i found it while scrolling through all the posts. and it's changed quite dramatically. holla

i. a person's daily routine 

ii. what they eat for breakfast (or if they eat breakfast at all)

iii. what they listen to when driving

i. i don't necessarily have a daily routine but... on the days i work i'm (generally) out of bed by 7:30, i may have a shower and wash my hair, get dressed in my beautiful all black reflection of my heart work uniform (ew grammar) and then i go make breakfast/lunch/sometimes dinner. (usually just breakfast and lunch.) and then i'll toddle off to work to start at 9, work all day, finish anywhere between 5 & 5:30, then home, dinner, and whatever activities i choose to do that evening. i'm generally out every second night during the week, and sunday i'm out all day due to church commitments.

ii. i usually have oats with a dab of honey for breakfast but it really depends on the day. once a fortnight i help out with a young mum's group and i generally don't eat breakfast that day. i'm housesitting at the moment so really have just been eating rice bubbles. *snap, crackle, pop away*

iii. my car doesn't have a stereo so i put my phone in a little cavity in the center console thing. at the moment i'm listening to all the music on this playlist. it doesn't give an impressive sound but it's enough for me. yay

angry

margaret river - june 2015

recently my boyfriend decided that he couldn't commit 100% to our relationship. given the situation and the emotional and mental strain that i'd been under, i gave him an essay of why i agreed with him and that maybe we should end our relationship at least for the time being.

and i'm still angry.

i'm angry because i've had time to evaluate. 

angry because maybe i should've said no to him when he asked again.

margaret river - june 2015

our relationship was one of those on-again, off-again. he first asked me out in spetember 2015. after a big discussion i ended up saying no. then in that october he asked again, i said yes. but...  a week later he broke up with me. 

then in early december he asked again, and i said yes. 

i'm angry that i said yes that second time. a dear friend of mine told me that he would ask again and that when he does that i should say no. 

why didn't i say no?

i love him.

it's pretty simple. i love him, i loved him, i thought i was in love with him, i knew i was in love with him.

contradictions all round buddy.

but when you sit back and ask yourself questions like, 'do i love him enough to marry him?' isn't that a sign to run? maybe i should've left that first time i asked myself that. 

bunbury - june 2015

i used to miss being single and now that i'm single again i remember why i missed it. the freedom to do things by yourself, for yourself. and i don't want to come across selfish or self-absorbed but it's nice. i got my hair done. something fresh and new. something to say who i really am. he didn't want me to cut my hair. he liked it long. so i went with it. but now i'm not beholden to him for anything, i don't have to ask his opinion on anything, so my lovely hair got gone.

and being single means i have time now. time for myself that i didn't have before. time to do my hair in the morning, and go out with the girls for a few drinks. i've got time and now i just need to utilise what i've got to it's full potential.

sometimes it helps to vent.

xx

self-image: hands

6:17am winter in perth

lately some stuff has been on my mind. mostly to do with self-image and body confidence. and i thought i was fine with the way my body was.

but recently i've had some health issues which has made me sit back and evaluate what i need to change.  

and there have been some things that have really stood out to me. one example is the other day i went to the bathroom at work, looked in the mirror, i was fine and my face was super cute. 3 hours later, i kid you not, i looked 10kgs heavier and my facial arrangement did not appease me.

and recently i've been trying to exercise every day and i thought my wrists and fingers were getting thinner. i haven't been for a while, and i swear my wrists and fingers are fatter than they were a week ago. as a pianist, i tend to look at my hand a lot. (please read this comment for reference.) 

my right hand has a fresh sore on it that moment. my left has a ring that my boyfriend got me for my birthday and as proof that he thinks that our relationship will last the time. (the ring pictured is not the one, i unfortunately don't have a picture of it as of yet.)

in general, my fingers are short and stubby and technically not 'piano fingers' but i say you do you, and these fingers have been playing piano for pretty much my whole life.

i tend to keep my nails short, force of habit more than anything. when i was playing team sports your nails could not be over a certain length as to minimise the amount of accidents on the field. they rarely see any colour as my chosen place of employment contains a lot of fixtures and i'm not incredibly careful with where i place my hands and end up scratching my nail polish off. also i can be quite lazy and haven't made time to paint the poor things.

the fingers on my left hand are slightly callused, especially the pointer and middle finger. years of playing violin and various other stringed instruments will do that to you. 

the fingers on my right hand are normal. at the moment they are a bit dry but times change, and one day i will get around to moisturising those beauties.

life will be alright in the morning.

xx

intentional

from albany road trip
29/12/2015

i haven't written here in a long while. it's currently 1:04am and i'm not even trying to sleep. life has been busy, and being an adult is not as fun as i imagined. responsibilities, bills, commitments, the whole lot is a huge thing to try and navigate. it's tiring, but at the end of the day it's worth it.

i wrote a little thing on my instagram the other day about being intentional...

"intentional: done with intention or on purpose.i hadn't picked a word for 2016 but i think i found the perfect one, intentional. intentional living, eating, surviving. i'm very good at doing stuff just cause i can, but now it's time to buck up. here's to being intentional."

adult-ing may be hard but... in my two years of being an adult (and few months of no longer being a teen) i know that everything is worth it in the end.

and another thing... relationships are tough, they're hard work. i feel like people told me this sorta stuff while i was single but i didn't pay them any mind. now, as i'm in a happy relationship, i have a better understanding of them. instead of just thinking about me i now have to think about him. and man, family is another thing. they matter so much. and i'm super blessed (and thankful) to actually get along with his family. one thing that i've been steadily praying about when it comes to my life partner, is that i get along with my mother in law. thank the LORD for He has answered my prayers and gifted me with not only an awesome future mother in law but an awesome future family.

xx
don't forget.

self-image : face & hair

two hazel eyes
one pig nose
one barely there chin
perfect lips
no cheekbones
EYEBROWS
kinky, flat, dull hair

Somedays i like my face. i think it perfectly smooth, with chiseled strong features. other days, oh lordy, eyebrows too prominent. i usually wear contacts now & i don't recognize myself in photos, especially ones i haven't seen. i walked past the fridge the other day & there was a photo of some people. i saw mum, nom & some other lady. a few days after, i had a proper look at it. that other lady was me! i was wearing my contacts that day & just didn't recognize myself! my eyebrows are terribly dark without glasses, i always like i should pluck them or something... but then i'd have to keep plucking them.
and let's not even get started on my hair. my golly, it has this little kink right up the right, which is why i never have a fringe. it lacks volume, and honestly, i can't be bothered doing anything without usually. 

i feel alive

from facebook fan page

today i feel fat
my body will never
live up to society's ideals

today i feel lonely
pushed into a corner
awkward & silenced

today i feel anxious
don't want to get
out of bed

today i feel sick
of being 
shoved aside

today i feel lost
someone stole life's
map from my grasp

but yet, i feel alive

Small talk

    (image credit: twitter or facebook) 

The incessant chitter chatter of life on Planet Earth.

"Let us talk about the weather. It's quite warm out, is it not?"

"Lovely dress you've got there, ma'am. It flatters your figure."

"The weather is rather warm, I do agree." 

"OMGosh!! What did you do with your hair!?!? It's amaze balls!?!?" 

I don't know about you but, I hate small talk. Little chit chat while waiting for something. If you were to strike up a conversation with me it wouldn't be about the weather, or clothing. It would be about food, or the future. Y'know, important things. Like, Nephelim, and Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and scary, awesome, crazy wonders of God's creation. Or awkward girl problem stories, and pregnancy woes, and children. (& their little problems.) I, as a general rule of thumb, don't like talking to random strangers. I just feel awkward, and ask really weird questions, like, what they think about freemasonry. 

I think that's why I don't have many close friends. If you attain close friend level with me, then we will talk about the deep stuff. How Jesus has changed you, or if He's changed you at all. And then maybe, maybe we won't talk for months. Maybe just mere days. But, the number one sign of true friendship is not seeing someone for years & still being able to enjoy their company. 

Do you like small talk?

remember me

sunlight streams through the window

shadows flee

as forlorn feet make their solemn march

around the corner

towards the front

following the funeral car

tears, though silent as they fall

are heard by one 

by one and all

and the trees tell us a story 

of a man who breathed his last

remember me

when the soft wind blows

when the frost kills the flowers

and there's no more sun

don't forget me

breathe in the scent

of your one

your one and only love

NATURAL

My word for 2014 is NATURAL. I'm striving to be NATURAL in the way I dress, NATURAL in the way I look after my body, NATURAL in the way I present myself, NATURAL in the way I eat. To be my NATURAL self, the real me. 

My aim for 2014 is to get back to the way it was 100yrs ago. To make more of my own products, (soaps, etc.) to live the way I was created to. 

I started the natural journey at the end of last year. I now wash my hair with bicarbonate soda & apple cider vinegar. I've found a way of eating which incorporates fats, carbs, & protein. (It's called Trim Healthy Mama, if you're interested. Look it up, it'll change your life!) I try and find clothes which are made out of 100% cotton (no cotton/polyester mix, & limited polyester fabrics), I also started making my own clothes. Moving towns and starting afresh was wonderful because I can now show my real self. I lived in my hometown for 16yrs, & it was getting a bit too much. I felt I couldn't change because people there knew me a certain way & I didn't want to lose the little friends I had. But, oh well. 

LET'S BE REAL THIS YEAR!

(I'm a bit late on this since it's nearly March. But... better later than never, I always say.) 

X

(In other news, I'm moving back in with my parents in Perth after a wonderful year living out in the wide, open air of Victoria.) 

quitting

source

collarbones. 

dirt on my feet. 

flesh on my bones.

blood in my veins. 

unoriginal.

uninspired. 

death-defying. 

denying all known remedies.

sometimes i feel like i need to do things eloquently. like it's not enough just to be myself. doesn't the world tell you to be yourself? why is it, then, that i feel so much pressure to be you, and vice versa. society isn't all it's cracked up to be, ladies & gentleman. ladies, please, wear some decent clothes, and who cares if you got a new pimple. (you're beautiful, swettie!) and gentlemen, please, do me a massive favour. 

*incoming rant*

PUT A SHIRT ON! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A SIX-PACK OR NOT! IF I HAVE TO WEAR A SHIRT, THEN YOU HAVE TO WEAR A SHIRT AS WELL! 

(does anyone else find it strange that whilst women are continually told to put some clothes on, i don't think men are told enough)

*end of rant (please continue in an orderly fashion to the nearest exit)*

so to hell with being eloquent, and like you. i'm gonna be my own damn person, and gonna live my life, and chalk my hair, and get my nose pierced, and wear handmade clothes, and get married, and have children, and grow old with my beloved by my side. 

Children, be wonderful today.

X

(ps. i quit my job. now i'm broke & unemployed....)

Year 12 graduate (finished with school)

I am now officially finished (and graduated) high-school!

It was only a small ceremony. (I was the only Yr. 12 there) But it was good to finally be able to say that I've finished school. Now to get a job, and earn lots of money, and buy a DSLR camera (any advice on a good beginners one?), and a Macbook Air. And tickets to travel the world. I am super excited for what the next few years will bring!

X

self-image : introduction

i've had this idea in my head since i saw Jocee's comment. and then, after this idea had sprouted in my mind i remembered a post i had read once upon a time on Lauren's blog (the post is here. thank you very much. it only took me one whole hour to find it)

anywho, onto the idea. self-image. the idea, conception, or mental image one has of oneself. what's your self-image like? do you like what you see when you look at yourself? or can you only see the bad bits? the bits that no-one else sees?

in the next few weeks, months, years, i'll be doing a post on what i think about my body. the first one being my face. then hands, feet, so on, and so forth. feel free to join me. (this is by no means a link-up, but... if you do write a post on this topic, put the link in the comment box, click publish, and i'll be over there checking it out.)

X

the humdrum of earthly activity

i. a person's daily routine 

ii. what they eat for breakfast (or if they eat breakfast at all)

iii. what they listen to when driving

i. I wake up anywhere between 6am and 9am. I get out of bed anywhere between 6:30am and 9:30am. (I usually spend 30mins checking social media before I get up) Then I'll have a shower, get dressed, and put my contacts in. After that, it's breakfast. Then, I do whatever. Work on some sewing, put the washing on, clean up my room, etc. Lunch is anywhere from 12-3pm, then after lunch I either look after children or do my own thing (go for a walk, do more sewing, etc.) Dinner is usually at 6pm, then after dinner I do the dishes, then surf the net, read, or go straight to bed. (depends how late it is) And I'm usually asleep by 10pm, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.

ii. while on the farm, I didn't really eat breakfast. I wasn't particularly hungry in the mornings. But, I'm back home for holidays, and Mum wants me to eat breakfast, so I have Greek youghurt with frozen berries, and oats. Maybe a coffee, tea, or freshly-made juice on the side. On the weekends, I might cook up some scrambled veggies. (scrambled egg with fried veggies, eg. mushroom, zucchini, capsicum, carrot)

iii. as I don't really drive much (I'm still on my Learner's) I listen to my father's voice, the wind whistling past the car, the air conditioner, and various other natural sounds. I find that if I have music on, I get to easily distracted. 

from Carlotta's post

verbum

Making:  scarfs, and other handicraft projects

Cooking: dinner. all the time. for seven people

Drinking: lots and lots of water

Reading: Mysteries of the Glory Unveiled by David Herzog

Wanting: a house by the sea, near a waterfall, in the country, with acres of untouched land

Looking: at the ocean from the backyard

Playing: the Wolf by Jana Gilmore. it is great!

Wasting: nought

Watching: 3 months worth of Blimey Cow videos

Enjoying: new places, & time with family

Waiting: for iTunes to work properly

Wondering: how I managed to convince my mother to let me move all the way over the other side of the country.

Loving: how much weight I've lost since the start of the year. (15kgs, guys! {33lbs})

Hoping: that my 3 page, what I want to do this summer, list gets at least half-done.

Marveling: at how my body copes with certain things

Needing: to pass my practical driving test

Smelling: the crisp ocean air

Wearing: all the clothes I left in WA (and bathers!)

Following: the dotted white lines whilst I drive my family around

Noticing: how much sugary food abounds in the city

idea from Paige's recent post